Coming here was part of it; being here confirmed it.

All-nighters led to miserable mornings. Deadlines forced me to create invisible friend timeframes. Every weekend buried under books was just another weekend… buried under books. Classes, internships, church, jobs, clubs, societies… School is all I’ve known for the past twenty-some years, and each was spent working endlessly. Why? To prepare for the now, durr.

Competitive doesn’t capture the nature of Newhouse… maybe cutthroat, ruthless, or bloodthirsty! Yeeeah, I’ll take it down a notch… Anyway, my goal was to absorb every minute in the classroom – for I was infinitely blessed to have a seat. I entered expecting to graduate with unrivaled skills, effortlessly fall into the perfect job, and earn the loads of money I’m totally worth. This plan, like most, was mine – Mistake numero uno. Much of my little world leisurely shattered the semester before I was set to finish. It wasn’t in my plan, and I don’t like the unplanned. For the first time, I found myself broken. Truly broken.

It was during this time that God placed me in the center of a life-changing circle. This circle was the Glisson family, and they put my greatest efforts to shame any day. Tim and Melissa Glisson pastor my church and are the remarkable parents of 14 adopted children. Yes. Fourteen. This couple died to themselves and surrendered what could have been a beautifully comfortable life together. They opened their hearts, home, and hands when I was in need, and through the love and joy only God can provide, helped breathe life back.

One Sunday, Tim stressed a simple concept: “Sooo, who are you working for?” Twenty years of school prepared me to enter the world as just another face in the masses. But Tim’s ONE teaching radically shifted my goals and ultimately launched me across the world. I knew I couldn’t build some CEO’s kingdom… there’s so much more to life.

I can recall thousands of the times I was just too busy to be the ear someone needed or the lips God wanted to use. My plans put me on a track to becoming highly productive and immensely successful… but who cares if you’re successful. God wants us to be significant. 

Maybe I should be spending my days hyperventilating over my student loans, or worrying that my aspirations will plunder any future job search… but why? Listening to the insecurities of others gets really old, and if I’ve given my life and everything in it to Christ, then He’s going to take care of every aspect. Every. I will struggle, and I will fail… but if I’m in line with His definitive plan, I have nothing to fear.

Serving God doesn’t require leaving the country and washing your dishes in the shower. It doesn’t require exorbitant amounts of money, and it doesn’t require the best skills or talents. I truly believe it takes a willing heart, an open mind, and the sacrifice of one’s self interests to experience the sweeping fulfillment of Christ. He can perform the most overwhelming of miracles, in the most underwhelming of people.

I don’t want to live for myself, but I do. God, break my heart for what breaks Yours.

 

Some of the teenage girls we work with. 

I’ve admittedly been slacking on the blog. My utmost apologies…

Tags: AIDS relief., Bangkok, Gina Meola Photography, Missionary work, Missions, Siam-Care, Thailand

This entry was posted on Friday, February 20th, 2009 at 1:00 am and is filed under International, Personal, Thailand, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.