It’s Monday night. The start of a new week is underway, with much to keep busy about. I walked Paisley, for the fifth time, and she’s given up on me. Too hot. Too long. I get it.

My desk looks flustered with notes, CDs, and lists… and my hodgepodge snack of triscuits with almond butter and blackberry jam is leaving tracks in cracks and nooks on the way to my tongue. My free Pandora is used up for the month, so instead of choosing one of the 5,683 songs on my desktop, I will sit in the sound of monsoon winds outside my window. You should know by now I love a good storm. Storms. There have been many in my heart, but few in the desert. I want to see a storm.

My ankles are swelling from the heat. And now, they’re up on the desk. My contacts are burning. Don’t you hate that? And my clothes don’t match. Thankfully my dog doesn’t openly mind. Did you know I still wear my retainers to bed once in a while? Nothing says “I love you” like a lisp and metal planks. Speaking of bed, it’s late. 10pm. Slow down, killer, that’s my bedtime. Yes. I love mornings. Unless I’ve been forced to stay awake. I wish I could sing.

I’m still recovering from yesterday’s migraine. It was awful. Awful.

I wanted to write, and I did. And yes, I’m really this weird. Now, here are some photos.

Victoria, British Columbia

A two-year-old on cake.

I would think most ladies carry something sacred with them on excursions to the outside world. A favorite lip gloss, hairband, signature water bottle, creamy hand lotion, or a 3,000 page phone book… you know, something important. My second appendage happens to come in a bitsy bottle that makes an appearance more often than not. SO what’s my “must have”? Essential Oils, but of course!! And to be more specific, Young Living Essential Oils. If you’ve spent more than a day with me, you know I’ve experienced chronic migraines for years and years. You’d also know I’m all for natural remedies, as I posted a while back.

My most coveted oil is [unfortunately for Marcus] Peppermint. If I feel a headache coming on, it’s OVER. I’ll hunch over or casually disappear to the corner so I can sniff, sniff, sniff it in! It gets rubbed into my temples, the back of my neck, the tip of my tongue, and even on my belly for cramps. It’s not always a cure, but definitely something to ease the pain. I’ve used it to refocus if I get carsick (yes… I’m 24 and STILL get carsick… don’t hate). All in all, I’m a walking peppermint bomb, and you can typically tell how I feel that day by how I SMELL!

So lady loves – what’s your must-have purse item? It doesn’t need to be as weird as mine – although I’d probably feel like less of a loser!

XOXO!

Today was the day. Another tipping point, will you.

This time of month brings furious migraines and the insatiable craving for chocolate. Well, the latter really isn’t just this time of month… but that’s neither here nor there, hmph. This week has been dreadful. And come to think of it, so has much of this month, and that month… so sang the girl throwing the world’s largest pity party.

Hours passed, and I sank deeper and deeper into rants of how terrible life has gotten. To these thoughts, naturally, I ripped the boxed brownie mix from the pantry, and began stirring my sorrows away. I can’t get this to do that. How am I supposed to be THERE from HERE. I need to serve them better.  I’m doing everything on my own. When will we finally have the money to… and so continued the chorus to this bitter girl’s song.

Tears poured, as they often do, and eventually the rich brown glow staring up from below lost its luster. Dropping everything, I drizzled to the floor. The floor where I was at once greeted by the happiest dog (ever), eager to join the party of salty cheeks and chocolate dipped fingers. Paisley. She is a gift to me. A reminder there’s always something to wiggle my backside for. But that got old, so I brushed her away. I was far too busy sulking to be licked.

Enter, my darling husband, who had been away the entire morning and majority of afternoon. The puffy-eyed girl on the floor, uncomfortable amounts of mucus and all, was probably too familiar a sight for this  man. A gentle sigh, and earnest prodding led to a spew of insecurities, uncertainties, and frustrations. I was an utter mess inside, and I had been holding close the mindset that put me there.

Marcus’s patient soul listened, reflected, and spoke. There’s no doubt God used Marcus, today, to end Donner’s Pity Party of One. He reminded me of the promises and responsibilities we are given, as gifted and blessed children of God. And to cherish this time of struggle. We know we’re exactly where we are for a reason, but that doesn’t make it easier…

Over and over I’ve experienced through suffering that we grow closer, stronger, and more in tune with Christ Himself, AND one another. We know our future is not one of idle luxury, and that God has been shaping us since birth for an incredible purpose – not because we are great, but because He is.

Marcus was very correct when he spoke of our hearts, and how we would respond if money were overflowing, or if the move was easy. If our lives seemed perfect… we’re not ready. God knows this. And so do we. As we allow God to continually break us to His image, there will eventually be no worth in claiming any form of “success” as something of our own doing. We have so, SO much to be thankful for, and plenty to look forward to. But still, my instincts tell me to hold strong to the wrongs and not-good-enoughs.

I don’t really like being this honest, on a screen, that anyone, anywhere… could see. But to fight alone is never as powerful as fighting together. If you read this, could you please pray for us? For supposed care-free young newlyweds, we carry quite a bit on our plate. Thank you, in advance.

And Marcus, thank YOU for being my rock today. You give me much to admire.